Read Patient Stories
So I'm sitting in a chair in an exam room, speaking with my doctor about why I'm there (don't even remember the reason for the visit now). The doctor is standing and as I'm talking I see that she's not really looking at me or doesn't seem to be paying attention. Then she starts adjusting her hair and I realize she's looking at herself in a mirror above my head! I was so turned off. Happened a number of years ago, but it's the primary image I have of my doctor. I’d love to change, but finding a new doctor around here who's actually "taking new patients" is close to impossible.
MYDOCTORSTORY LESSON FOR PATIENTS: If you are uncomfortable with your doctor (for whatever reason), the first step is to talk with him or her about what is happening (or not happening) that you don’t like. If just the idea of confrontation makes your stomach do flip-flops, then know that you are in good company! Most people put up with things they don’t want rather than stick up for themselves. Check out our blog on “How to Ask People To Change.” If you are “stuck” with your current doctor (as in this story), then it is important that you open up the communications soon.
MYDOCTORSTORY LESSON FOR HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONALS: The story speaks for itself, so we won’t add our opinions about common courtesy. Let’s take it a step further: In today’s hectic healthcare environment with EMR, overbooked schedules and understaffed offices, we are seeing an increased tendency of doctors and staff to lose track of the person inside the patient. Don’t let that happen to you. Our research shows that 50% of all patients (men and women) need your full eye contact during their visit in order to feel safe in your care.
My story is about an oral surgeon. I had to have a tooth pulled and just wanted it over with. I wanted anesthesia and quite frankly, I didn't care who the Dr. was, I just wanted it over. He came in, introduced himself, shook my hand and I don't even know that I looked him in the eyes. That night after the surgery, I got a phone call FROM THE DR himself. NOT a nurse or someone who worked in his office. I would have been pleased with a call from his office, but I was impressed that it was him. I told him so and he said that he felt that his personal phone call was a part of good care. He was known for leaving a party, going in another room to make his calls. It says a lot about him as a Doctor and as a human being, in my book. I would spread his name to anyone in my area - so it means good business, too.
MYDOCTORSTORY LESSON FOR PATIENTS: If a doctor gives you a courtesy call, keep the call brief and don’t take advantage by asking unrelated questions. If you have more questions, make a new appointment.
Note: Many doctors would like to be able to follow through with patients, but are overwhelmed with the sheer number of patients they see every day, the hours they spend dictating reports, etc.
MYDOCTORSTORY LESSON FOR HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONALS: Far too many doctors miss the opportunity to actually hear a heartfelt “thank you.” Some say they don’t call patients because they don’t have time and others tell us it’s because they’re afraid to hear that the patient wasn’t happy with the care they received. Even if you can’t follow up with every patient, consider calling 1 per day. It will help you to rekindle your fire and may bring you valuable information for your practice.
After my hip-replacement, I was moved to a rehab facility. My first day there, I was left on a bedpan for 30 minutes because everyone was too busy to answer my call. I was pretty messy so I asked for some help getting to the rest room to clean up. I was harshly informed by the aid that I couldn't have a shower until Saturday (this was Thursday). For the next couple of days, every time she came into my room, she was the same way - harsh, cold, uncaring.
Finally on Saturday, she came in at 6:30 a.m. and woke me by turning on the light and announcing it was time for my shower. I felt like I was in prison. I had been up all night and had finally fallen asleep at around 5:00 so I was really tired. I asked if we could do it later and she said, "Now or you wait until Tuesday." I didn't want to wait, so I held onto her arm and limped into the bathroom.
I was naked, wet and in pain. It was humiliating to stand there while she washed me so I told her I could do it myself and asked her just to hold me so I wouldn't fall. To hide my embarrassment, I tried to engage her in a conversation. She was as cold as ever. And then I tried a different approach and asked her if she had kids. She answered quickly but there was a different sound to her. I asked her more about her kids and the more she talked the more tired she sounded. I mentioned it but she denied it. I told her that I thought she was pretending and she snapped back that this was a good job and she wasn't complaining. Now she actually sounded scared! So, I switched the subject. I told her that I was depending on her to help me but that she really frightened me the way she was talking to me before and I wasn't sure I could trust her. I told her I was glad to know she was a mother because that told me that she would understand how vulnerable I felt having to depend on someone else.
To my surprise, she burst into tears. She said she never meant to scare me and that she always acted tough so patients wouldn't give her a hard time. She told me about some patients and how mean they were to her and she said it was hard for her because she was so little (she was half my size and less than 5' tall). I made a joke about how dangerous I was (naked, wet and unable to stand up) and then I promised her that I wouldn't give her a hard time and asked her please if she would help me to get through this horrible situation in one piece. We ended up hugging and she was much nicer to me after that.
MYDOCTORSTORY LESSON FOR PATIENTS: We need to remember that healthcare workers are people too. They have real needs and real feelings. The more we can connect with them as people, the more they will treat us with respect. Don't give them a hard time - even if they give you a hard time. Find their vulnerability and connect to it.
MYDOCTORSTORY LESSON FOR HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONALS: Putting up a "tough" front will only create a vicious circle of miscommunication and distrust that will dilute your influence and cause you to have a harder time gaining patient cooperation and compliance. Tough works on the football field, but it is less effective in working with people. If you have personnel who are acting tough, find out what's going on. It's possible that they are simply lacking the skills to stand up for themselves with difficult patients. When they know how to protect themselves, they'll feel safer being kind and letting people in.
My mother was in the hospital to remove a tumor from her lung. After the surgery, I was in the room with her and she wasn't breathing right. I went to the nurse's station to get help. They looked at her monitor and assured me that she was fine. But I knew she wasn't fine. I gently explained that I know my mother and that something was really wrong. Again, the nurse checked the monitors and saw that all of her numbers were normal. She patronizingly informed me that it was normal for me to be overly concerned but that my mother was fine.
I sat and watched my mother like a hawk. I was convinced that something was wrong. She opened her eyes and started gasping for air. I rang the call bell but no one came so I ran out into the hall and begged for help. The nurse came over to me and told me that if I made any more noise they would have to ask me to leave. I ran to a phone and put in an emergency call to her doctor. He called me right back on the pay phone and I told him what was going on. He told me to go back to the room and watch her and that he would take care of it.
The next thing I knew, my mother's bed was surrounded by doctors and nurses. They took her off to the intensive care unit where she remained for 3 days on a ventilator. As it turned out, one lung had collapsed and the other was filled with fluid. I was told later that there was a glitch in the monitors and so it looked like her oxygen levels were fine.
One week later they moved my mother to another floor for her first round of chemo. They started the chemo drip and left the room. As I was talking to my mom, I noticed her mouth started to turn purple and then that started to spread. I ran out of the room and told them she was having an allergic reaction. No one budged. I could not believe this was happening again! This time, I started screaming at the top of my lungs until someone came in.
I'm sure there are a lot of family members who come to hospitals and give nurses and doctors a hard time. I know they are busy and they can't come running every time we get scared about something. But this kind of thing shouldn't happen.
MYDOCTORSTORY LESSON FOR PATIENTS: Trust your instincts. No one knows your family member better than you. If you think something is wrong, stick up for yourself and your family. That said, keep in mind that you aren't the only people who need help. Many hospitals are understaffed and they can't always give your family member all the attention you might want. Too often people ring call bells for things that aren't medical emergencies and hospital personnel have to spend their time addressing request after request - not just from patients but from doctors and administrators. They have a lot of people tugging at them. Be sensitive to that and make an effort not to abuse the call bell with request after request. If it isn't an emergency, make a list of what you need and give it to them all at once. Work together with them and you'll get everything you need.
MYDOCTORSTORY LESSON FOR HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONALS: Instruct your front-line professionals in drawing proper boundaries, in managing difficult people and in working effectively with family members. Remind them that family can be strong allies in caring for your patient and may even lighten your load if you align to make it happen.
There is a check-out receptionist at [my doctor's office] that is really special. She knows everything about insurance rules and she helps me all the time to make sure that I get the most reimbursement for my visits. She's warm and friendly and she always makes me laugh no matter how busy it is in there.
MYDOCTORSTORY LESSON FOR PATIENTS: If you are paying out-of-pocket for your doctor visits, then it's really important to double check how your visit is being "coded" by your doctors' office and make sure that you are covered for that service. This is a huge subject, so check back again and I'll blog about it soon.
MYDOCTORSTORY LESSON FOR HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONALS: I don't need to tell you how important it is that your coding is accurate. I'm not a coding specialist, but I have colleagues who are stars at maximizing reimbursements. If you want their names, just contact me.
It was about 2:00 a.m. on the second night following my surgery. I was sitting on a bedpan and I realized I couldn't get off. Embarrassed, I finally broke down and rang for help. My aid came in immediately. She had just checked in for her second shift of the day and as she walked in I could see her limping. She was clearly in pain, but she never said a word. She just handed me a towel and asked me how I was feeling in a deeply caring voice.
I asked her about her pain and she briefly explained about a back problem and quickly turned her attention back to help me. I suggested that with that kind of pain maybe she should consider going home. She looked at me, smiled warmly and said,
"If I go home now, then somebody else is gonna have to come in early and double up on her shift. That just wouldn't be right."
She helped me to get comfortable, and I totally forgot my situation. She moved so gracefully through her routine that I forgot about my embarrassment. She chatted comfortably about nothing in particular as she worked around me to change my sheets and rearrange the pillows and get me settled back in bed.
She wasn't particularly witty or entertaining. She wasn't highly educated or even very attractive. In fact, I don't remember anything else she said that night, yet I can still see her face in my mind's eye and I remember her more than anyone I met at that hospital.
MYDOCTORSTORY LESSON FOR PATIENTS: At 2:00 a.m., when all our visitors are long-gone we need to depend on the help of strangers. At the risk of sounding like your mother, be nice to these people. They have the most thankless jobs for the least amount of pay, and they deserve our respect and kindness. No matter how lousy you feel, find a smile for the people who are there to help and you'll get a lot better care in return.
MYDOCTORSTORY LESSON FOR HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONALS: Find your stars and show your appreciation often. In fact, start right now. When was the last time you told your people that you've noticed the amazing things they do?
I went to the dentist today. I sat for 45 minutes in the waiting room before they took me back and then another 30 minutes waiting for the doctor to show up. When he walked in, he didn't even apologize for being late. This is total (deleted) and you can bet I'm not going back there again.
MYDOCTORSTORY LESSON FOR PATIENTS: This is the most common complaint that I hear about doctors' offices - dental and medical. Part of it is their fault, and part of it is our fault as patients. I'll blog some hints for how to avoid this situation, but here are a few to get you started:
- Try to get your appointments first in the morning or first after lunch.
- Always, always, always bring something with you to do that you would never get done otherwise (work or fun) - you might even enjoy the extra time!
- Don't be afraid to let them know how long you've been waiting (politely of course). They're busy and quite frankly some times we fall through the cracks.
- Make a list of all of your questions before you go. One of the biggest causes of doctors running late is when patients remember something at the last minute and throw it out there for them to deal with just as they're walking out the door.
MYDOCTORSTORY LESSON FOR HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONALS: O.k., folks, this is huge. You can't be a Outstanding Care Facility if you're going to run seriously behind schedule on a regular basis - particularly if you don't at least acknowledge the inconvenience for your patients. There are a lot of tricks to help you to stay on schedule, for example:
- Make sure everyone in your practice is up to speed on your scheduling software (this is not just a front-desk issue).
- Hold an in-service to get everyone on the same page regarding how long your procedures and consults really take.
- Hold an in-service to help your staff to better triage your calls.
- Instruct your doctors and staff to streamline interpersonal communications so that they can move through histories and diagnostics with better efficiency without losing the relationship-building time with your patients.
- If you double-book, inform patients in advance there may be a wait time.
Above all, have empathy and apologize to your patients when you run late. How would you feel if it were you?
I had this weird little growth on my eyelid and in a few days it looked like a marble in the middle of my eye. I was out of town for work and by the time I got back it was the weekend. By Monday morning it was huge and it hurt. Not to mention it looked disgusting. I had an important meeting that week and I needed this thing gone, so I called my dermatologist and they told me they didn't have any openings with my doctor for 3 weeks. I told them I was desperate and they offered me an appointment with the Physician's Assistant. I was skeptical (I mean the guy wasn't really a doctor and this was my eye!) but I took the appointment.
This guy was fantastic! He took me on time (this never happens in that office), he knew exactly what the problem was and he explained it all to me in plain English. He told me he could fix it and I said, "go for it!" He was really gentle (I never felt a thing) and by the time my meeting came all I needed was a little make-up to cover the redness. And to think I almost didn't go to this guy!
MYDOCTORSTORY LESSON FOR PATIENTS: Welcome to Healthcare in the 21st Century! Now there are all kinds of practitioners who can help us, and they're not all M.D.'s! Google Physician's Assistant and Nurse Practitioner and learn all about these positions. If your doctor has hired non-MD's for his or her practice, rejoice! They can help you!
MYDOCTORSTORY LESSON FOR HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONALS: If you bring in a PA or NP, communicate with your patients and let them know about the extra care and service you are able to provide them because of your expanded practice. Consider creating a one-page bio on your extenders and mail it out to your patients and referring colleagues with a cover letter from you introducing them. Post the information on your website, Facebook and Twitter. If you live in a smaller community, be sure to contact your local media and let them know your exciting news. The more you help people to know your practitioners, the safer they will feel and the more they will align with your practice.
My story is about an oral surgeon. I had to have a tooth pulled and just wanted it over with. I wanted anesthesia and quite frankly, I didn't care who the Dr. was, I just wanted it over. He came in, introduced himself, shook my hand and I don't even know that I looked him in the eyes. That night after the surgery, I got a phone call FROM THE DR himself. NOT a nurse or someone who worked in his office. I would have been pleased with a call from his office, but I was impressed that it was him. I told him so and he said that he felt that his personal phone call was a part of good care. He was known for leaving a party, going in another room to make his calls. It says a lot about him as a Doctor and as a human being, in my book. I would spread his name to anyone in my area - so it means good business, too.
MYDOCTORSTORY LESSON FOR PATIENTS: If a doctor gives you a courtesy call, keep the call brief and don't take advantage by asking unrelated questions. If you have more questions, make a new appointment.
Note: Many doctors would like to be able to follow through with patients, but are overwhelmed with the sheer number of patients they see every day, the hours they spend dictating reports, etc.
MYDOCTORSTORY LESSON FOR HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONALS: Far too many doctors miss the opportunity to actually hear a heartfelt "thank you." Some say they don't call patients because they don't have time and others tell us it's because they're afraid to hear that the patient wasn't happy with the care they received. Even if you can't follow up with every patient, consider calling 1 per day. It will help you to rekindle your fire and may bring you valuable information for your practice.